Confidence is the intangible shield that you can use to combat, chase your divining dreams and be solid and stand at slow pace in hard situations. It affects the perception of others, and more importantly it affects the way you look at yourself. Although there are individuals, who appear innately confident, the reality is, that confidence is a habit that is achieved and developed over time, via habits, decisions, and mental attitude adjustments.
Unluckily, there exist some bad habits that dilapidate your self-esteem without visible cause. Such habits may be so constant that you may unconsciously fail to realize how they are reinforcing you down. Understanding them will allow you to start getting rid of them and changing them to more healthy activities that will help you develop personally.
These are nine bad habits that may quietly be sapping your self confidence- and what you can do about them.
Comparing yourselves to others all the time
Why it is harmful:
When your social media feeds you the highlight reels of everyone, it is difficult not to feel as though everyone is doing comparably better than you. This attitude provides an experience of constant self-doubt, jealousy, and disappointment.
Example:
Think of yourself scrolling through Instagram and you come across one of your friends and they are abroad, have just purchased a new car or have been given a promotion. Unknowingly, you find yourself doubting about choices you make in your life where you might have been well just a few moments ago.
Fix It:
- Do not worry about the time frame of someone on their way to succeeding, focus on your own process.
- Turn on a progress journal which will show your small victories and progress.
- Learn to be grateful on a daily basis as a reminder of what you are already blessed with.
- Keep in mind that everybody has their demons which are not visible.
Negative Self Talk
The harmful effects of it:
The individualistic terms you incorporate when communicating to yourself play a profound effect on your psyche. When you repeat to yourself, almost every day, that you are not smart enough or that you will never succeed, you make those things true because you reinforce them so much until they appear as facts.
Example:
Just prior to a presentation, you may be thinking of messing up and this will inculcate more anxiety and poor performance.
What to do to change it:
- Undermine the negative thoughts by saying to yourself, is this true?
- Instead of self-criticism, make the positive phrase more like, I still have much to learn and I am getting better every time.
- Commit affirmations to memory every day, e.g.: I am able, confident.
- Positive self-talk does not mean to ignore the weaknesses, instead, it means to motivate yourself to develop.
Thinking too Much About Everything
The harmful nature of it:
Analysis paralysis is a result of over thinking where you just spend all of your time worrying about what may happen then you never actually do anything about it. Not only does this waste time but also it eats at your faith to make your own decisions.
Example:
You have a side business itching to get started and yet months are spent over researching rather than launching. The lag brings about the lack of confidence that you would succeed.
What to do about it:
- Impose a bound on the time a decision will take.
- Learn to accept failure as the step to maturity.
- Don to concentrate on the perfect circumstances, but only a modest improvement.
- Action increases confidence as opposed to planning ad infinitum.
Aiming to get other people’s approval
The reason it is harmful:
When you base your happiness on what other people thought of you, you would place your self worth in other people’s hands. When they accept it you feel great. Otherwise, your confidence is destroyed.
Example:
You upload a photo in social media and spend the daytime looking at the likes and the comments. When it is not what you even wished for, then you see yourself as something unattractive or boring.
What you can do about it:
- Choose what you want to do because that is your value and not that of the expectations of others.
- Learn to feel comfortable when not everyone is on the same side.
- It is important to learn that views of other people are usually founded in the insecurities of others.
- Confidence is a product of self acceptance and not continuous approval.
Fear of Challenges Tasks to Avoid
The harmful effects of this include:
When you do not take risks, when you do not face your challenges, you deny yourself the possibility that you can cope with it. This ends up teaching your brain that you cannot do it and in the long run, this will be a belief.
Example:
You are invited to talk during an event and you turn it down and say you are afraid of screwing up. You do not get to develop and widen your network.
The way to repair it:
- Begin building courage with tiny feasible challenges.
- Re frame fear as one of the indicators that you are developing.
- Praise yourself when you take a new step outside the zone of your comfort even when the results are not always ideal.
- Beating down your fears makes you both better at fight and you strengthen your mindframe.
Ignoring Your Health
The Why it is harmful:
The mind and body go hand in hand. Sleeping poorly, eating poorly and no exercises may make you exhausted, demotivated, and less competent which contributes directly to your confidence.
Example:
You end up late at night binge-watching something culminating in the lack of breakfast, and the dragging through the day. As you are feeling low in terms of energy, you lose motivation and self esteem in it.
What can be done about it:
- Get good sleep of 7 to 8 hours at a stretch.
- Nourish your body with healthy food.
- Do something, at the least take a walk.
- Your mind is confident with a healthy body.
Focusing on Errors of the Past
The harmfulness of it lies in:
Mistakes happen to everybody and dwelling on them makes you remain in the state of guilt and regret. This addiction makes you believe that you are an individual who is characterized by failure.
Example:
Most unsuccessful people commit that very bothersome but common mistake: they talk themselves out of business or anything new to them by recalling their previous failure either in business or in life.
The way to repair it:
- Find the lesson in every fault.
- Just remind yourself that to make a personal growth, you always need to fail.
- Concentrate on what you can do today, not what you should have done yesterday.
- The past is only a page of the book, not the entire book.
Being Around the Negative People
The harm in this:
Your close friends have the most effect on your thinking than you realize. When all around you is filled with gossip, constant criticism or pessimism, that will end up diluting your self-confidence.
Example:
Your friends continuously sarcastically joke about your skills. The longer it goes on the more you begin to believe such comments.
The way to repair it:
- Spend more time with your people who encourage and motivate you.
- Avoid people that suck the life out of you.
- Get into positivity or development groups.
- The world around you influences what is in your head, choose it properly.
Looking Away Personal Growth
So why is it harmful?
Being in the comfort zone may seem like a comfortable place, but you do not find new abilities, strengths and interests. There is no growth, without confidence in it. 6 Amazing ways to create a joyful life.
Example:
You have worked in the same workplace over the years and not acquired new skills. Later you gradually realize that you feel trapped and less able to learn to face change.
The way to mend:
- Read books or take courses or learn a new hobby.
- Have monthly/yearly targets.
- Celebrate all of your small achievements.
- The investments upon which the lasting confidence is based are the growth.
Final Thoughts
Confidence does not always come naturally, and it is developed by making minor everyday decisions. By overcoming these nine bad habits, you will not only defend your self-respect but establish a mental transformation and gain entrance to the door of possibilities, achievement and greater happiness.
Forging new patterns won;t be instant but with each step to healthier habits, you inch closer to the confident, capable version of yourself that has always been waiting on the other side.Begin now and pay yourself later.